Struggle Street.
I have come to recently realise the very hard hitting truth; I unconsciously seek to struggle. I’ll find the most difficult path to achieve what I desire, but I know I am not the only one.
The truth is…
Funnily enough, as I’m writing this Substack entry, it’s 3:30am and I’m struggling to sleep. I’m also struggling to decide which truth to share next.
You see, I have this pile of half-started truths scattered across three different places:
First spot: My Substack drafts.
I’ve got four on the go. One of them is even called “Business is a bitch?”—it's taken a very interesting turn in the truth department it’s just not finished maybe to scared to tell the truth just yet?
Second spot: The cloud.
Not the cloud in my head—though that’s a whole other thing—but the one on my computer. I have a folder named Writing, then a subfolder called Substack, and inside that, another one called Truth Teller.
There are 10 pieces in there. One of them is me starting to tell the truth about the day I was diagnosed with CLL (chronic lymphatic leukaemia). That one’s not so much an “interesting turn” more so a truth a heart-jerker no idea when I will have the guts to complete this one.
Third spot: My phone notes.
Under the heading “Substack Ideas.” There are three in there right now, and one of them literally says: “Seeking to Struggle.”
This one is the one that’s nudging me the most lately. So here it goes…
I have come to recently realise the very hard hitting truth that I unconsciously seek to struggle. I’ll find the most difficult path to achieve what I desire. Somewhere deep down, I’ve believed that if you’re reaching for the stars, you better have a solid struggle story to go with it—because if it sounds too easy, who will care? Who will listen? Who will value it?
But I’m not the only one. I’ve been noticing it more and more in others too.
At one point—or for some of us, every point—we throw on the blinker and turn down Struggle Street.
Some are on a freeway: speeding, weaving, unable to find the exit.
Some are on a quiet country road, cruising with a few speed bumps, eventually arriving at a T-section—left or right, a new road, a new story.
And me? I’m all over the shop. Some days I’m on the freeway. Other days I’m on a winding, scenic coastal road. Quiet possibly still struggling slightly —just with a better view.
What I don’t fully understand yet is: why?
Why do I seek to struggle?
Is it to feel worthy?
To belong in a world that’s always struggling?
To prove something—anything—as long as it’s proof?
There’s not just one reason. There are many.
And not just whys, but a whole mess of complicated, layered, underlying truths.
So I’ve been doing some deep thinking these past few weeks. And I want to unpack my struggle truth a little more here—on Substack—where you won’t just read it, but hopefully hear it, feel it, experience it.
Because it’s becoming something more than just a series of reflections.
It’s becoming a living book.
It’s called: Seek to Struggle.
And truthfully, the journey has already begun. The publication exists, the chapters are forming, the title is set.
You can subscribe now (for free) and follow along until it’s ready for release at the end of 2025: (if I don’t struggle to much that is so don’t hold your breath lol)
→ https://seektostruggle.substack.com/about
I guess discovering this truth—that I’ve been chasing struggle—has given me something completely unexpected:
The chance to create what I’ve always struggled to allow myself to desire: to write a book.
It just looks a little different than I imagined.
In the end… it’s funny how life turns out.
But for now, it’s time to go back to the 14 other half-started truths—and struggle to decide which one to share one of those next...
Or maybe a brand new truth will surface, straight out of the unexpected-nowhere-demons-truth-land. (You know the place.)
Till the next truth…
Love,
Bee xxx
Like The Truth Teller? Subscribe don’t miss a truth.
Inspired or make someone smile with The Truth Teller? Share it.
Plus don’t forget to now check out my upcoming living book ~ “Seek to Struggle” be sure to share this also. → https://seektostruggle.substack.com/about